I subscribe to several groups related to unschooling. Someone who is considering unschool, posted some questions and I answered them. I thought maybe others who are considering unschool could benefit from these.
Hey!
I can tell that you are quite anxious about unschooling, but on the other hand
- maybe quite anxious to get started with it! A real push-me-pull-you kind of
feeling going on, right? Well, that’s ok, I think a lot of folks start out that
way – because they’ve been fooled into thinking they can’t do this and they
can’t do that, and that kids aren’t really capable of doing things themselves,
and that everyone needs some kind of outside motivation (such as nagging moms
and teachers) to do just about anything.. and that the only accomplishments are
ones that are “nationally-recognized” or “standardized”…
But, you said yourself.. “I unschooled without really knowing it for several
years (birth-kindergarten)..” What is it that you “weren’t getting around to”
from birth-kindergarten? And could you have imagined telling your children, “OK,
it’s time to begin practice walking…” and then if your parenting book said,
only practice walking for an hour everyday, you would say “Oh, walking practice
is over… get back down on all fours and lets learn something else listed in
this book of stuff you should know how to do before you turn 3.”
You seem to be very caught up in worry and fears and the standardized “Should do
this and should do that by age #.” But, let me say.. you can lead a horse to
water, but you can’t make him drink. And it’s entirely true.. and you can sit
for hours, and hours *teaching* the kids what they *should* know and they can
take it or leave it, but they’re missing out on what they “COULD” know if it
weren’t for the shoulds getting in the way all the time.
A good example came this year, our first year home and unschooling. My son would
have been in first grade and according to them, by the end of the year, “he
SHOULD be able to add & subtract at least 50 problems in under 5 minutes.” In
other words, he should have spent much of his year memorizing addition and
subtraction. But, instead of memorizing, he preferred to ask me “What is
multiplication?” And if I follow the books, he shouldn’t worry about
multiplication until his add/subtracts are memorized. But, I don’t follow them,
I follow my son.. and he has nothing memorized and works each problem out every
time he sees it. He *should* have add/subtracts memorized, but he *could* grasp
the concept of add/subtract and he could grasp the concept of multiplication. It
was not difficult to see that grasping the concept and practicing the
manipulation of the numbers was much more important to him than memorizing. And,
that makes sense. What are you going to do? Memorize all add/subtracts from 0 to
9,000,000,000? No? Then memorizing any of them is pointless and why should they,
if they are allowed to spend time grasping the concept and learning to
successfully manipulate the numbers? He can answer the questions.. it might take
longer than 5 minutes, but who cares? When was the last time a 7 yr old (or
anyone really) were in a math emergency and his life depended on how fast he
could multiply or subtract numbers and without a modern household miracle of a
calculator to help?
As for your other questions….
I worry will I do a good job equipping them for the world so that when they
reach an age that they want to venture off into the world they’ll be able to
function and know what they “need” or “should”? What does a person really
actually need, to function in this world? Seriously.. because, it’s obvious that
they don’t need to spell words correctly (spell check), they don’t need to
memorize math (calculators and computers to do the really big problems), they
don’t need to know word families, heck – my husband’s nephew *graduated* high
school without being able to read. And he functioned, had a job, made money, had
a home and a car and no one even knew that he couldn’t read.
Will the law take away my rights to homeschool if my kids aren’t at their
age-given grade level in the core subjects? I don’t believe this would happen,
or schools would have had their rights revoked decades ago… because many of
those kids are surely not at grade level. I was in high school with 21 yr olds
who had not graduated yet. Every state’s laws differ, but I don’t believe any of
them require children to be on grade level in order to continue homeschooling.
In my state, they don’t even require me to report their grade level. Sure, I’m
required to write up an annual report and even submit to annual testing after
third grade, but I get to keep the information all to myself – unless by some
unfortunate event, I am investigated for neglect or something.
Will we sit around all day being unproductive, not learning anything?
Did you sit around all day being unproductive, not learning anything during the
birth-kindergarten years? Was learning to walk, learning to talk, learning to
manipulate objects, eat with a spoon, playing and bonding and things.. was that
unproductive nothing? It depends, I guess, on your definition of unproductive.
If productive = accomplishing tasks according to outside sources (the shoulds),
then yes.. you will.. because many of those tasks are tedious, and boring and
really irrelevant to life, and it’s simply busy work to imprison their brains
rather than encourage free thinking. And children don’t normally have a taste
for wasting their time, being unproductive and not learning anything – as is the
case when they are assigned to tedious, boring, irrelevant busy work. If
productive = accomplishing things that interest you (the coulds), and
discovering new interests, and playing, and enjoying life, and learning about
things that are relevant to you as an individual, and setting goals for yourself
and achieving them, then no, your days will not be unproductive and you will
never have a day of learning nothing.
Will people call me crazy because all the schooled children know (fill in the
blank) but mine doesn’t? Yes. They will. So, what? Will you call them crazy
because all the unschool children know unlimited joy, and freedom, and passion
but theirs do not?
How do you ensure they’ll learn basics when you’re not following a structured
program? You don’t. *THEY* do. The children ensure that they learn the things
necessary to live the life that they are creating for themselves. How do you
ensure they’ll learn basics when you do follow a structured program? You can’t..
memorizing is not the same as learning, they are different. Skimming through
books to find answers is not the same as learning the material. Completing
worksheets, and bubbling in forms are not the same as learning things.
Being forced to hear lectures or excerpts is not the same as learning.
True learning requires that there be a curious party who is seeking knowledge..
not trying to escape, or wishing to be elsewhere, or secretly dreaming of what
they actually want to be learning.. what they could be doing, while they are
stuck doing what they “should.” What are these basics, anyways? Reading?
Writing? 1+1? The statement that occurred to me that finally pushed me over the
edge into taking my son out of school was, that I couldn’t do worse than school
without locking them in a closet for the next 12 years. Because that’s where
their brains will be if they are doped up on curricula, and busy work, and
tedium, and boredom.. locked up in a closet.. away from TRUE curiosity, away
from free thinking, away from me, away from what they LOVE, away.. locked away
in a closet where nothing makes sense because it is all really quite irrelevant
to life at the moment outside that closet. The real life that is happening, now.
I don’t know if it’s me who needs to be deschooled or deprogrammed, but I think
maybe I don’t trust myself or my kids enough..I don’t know what it is. It is
brainwashing.. and I think you should definitely take a bit of time to deschool
yourself. deprogram yourself. Take some time.. could it be terrible to put down
your curriculum for a little while? Or drop some of it? Or simply just NOT
interrupt them when they finally find a piece that they are enjoying? The tricks
of the trade, “everyone must stay together,” “everyone must do this for a
certain period of time, and then do something else,” “everyone should know this
and that,” they are not designed for your children who are at home with a loving
family that wants to be together and learn together..
I don’t know what your experience was in school… but, I spent most of my
school years HIDING, concealing the fact that I was learning… because I was
off-topic. I could read, and I loved to do it.. and I would read.. and read..
and learn about all the things I desired to know, be damned with all of their
hogwash. It is ridiculous to think that only a teacher, or a teacher’s guide
holds the answers ,,, They don’t even hold the QUESTIONS!!!!! The Wild Questions
of each individual child, so precious.. and so miraculous, so endangered are the
questions that they ask of themselves and so is finding their answers. One of my
favorite things to think about, is the tell tale sign of learning. Questions..
are that tell tale sign. For as long as you can think of more question to ask,
you will be learning. But, school and curriculum work don’t encourage asking..
they encourage answering.. answering other folks’ questions, questions that the
child did not ask themselves and may not care to ever know. In one ear and out
the other, because it didn’t matter to them.. it wasn’t what they were asking. I
say, if all you have are answers.. what are you learning? But, that is what
school and curricula deem to be important… answers. dead ends. Finding more
questions to ask, not memorizing correct answers, is the only way to learn and
broaden horizons and grow and become a functional, free thinking person who
loves to learn new things for the rest of their lives.
September 3rd, 2009 | Tags: children, education, home school, home study, homeschool, learning, methods, teaching, unschool | Category: Daily Deschool, Unschool is Cool | Comments (2)